#@$#&&^#*!

Is it wise to be posting a blog entry when my stress level is so high that I want to run screaming down the Alaska Highway, sans vehicle, just me, running, clothed if I'm lucky.....sure to be picked up by nearby patrol cars if I'm not....?

My departure date was, well, today; and I'm still in #&^%(# Whitehorse....nothing I planned to have finished is finished - which is a deep and probably not well-learned lesson in project planning - and everything that could go wrong is definitely going wrong!

If you can believe this - I've been working on my floor - oh yes, I thought, my super housesitters deserve a home that is not covered in carpet that in turn is covered in dog hair and the remnants of various 'pet fluid emergencies' throughout the last five years. Yes, I am a truly thoughtful and compassionate human being, you say....

I've been working on my floor for weeks now and was supposed to be done before my mom arrived to help me clean and pack so we could drive into the sunset in a relaxed and semi-controlled manner. Well, she's been here for four days and we are still working on the freakin' floor...

Mainly because on Saturday every job we attempted took four hours longer than anticipated as we tried to figure out things like jig saws, skill saws, hidden hook shelving, and whatever the hell else we were trying to do.

Then we both got sick on Sunday morning at exactly the same time with the same weird flu virus. It took us both to our knees and actually to the hospital...my mom was so weak she needed an IV, I was so weak I needed a friend to help get us there. We thought we were dying - we stumbled into the foyer crying ' we don't know what we have, it might be Norwalk', causing the concierge to jump to his feet and backwards all in the same motion. 'Masks are there' he pointed from 2 km away....we could still see the whites of his 'oh my god I'm going to die'-panicked eyes.

We put on the masks and stumbled to admissions - the clerk warned everyone to stay back as we fumbled for ID....we got her in to emergency and they shut and locked the doors behind us. We sat in a glass admitting area where everyone outside could stare and whisper as they wondered what sort of plague we had brought to their safe little worlds.

When they finally wheeled my mother into room number three, I proceeded to lie on the hallway floor and moan while I waited. Dr. McDreamynorth shooed me out (with a great bedside manner mind you) and my kind friend took me home to wait as my mom rehydrated...she was also kind enough to pick her up, as I was 'otherwise engaged' when the call came in....

Monday went over a little better - more work done, a little bit of relief, that sense that my chest would explode subsiding....then....I lost my wallet....ah yes, the piece de resistance....I lost it but didn't realize I lost it until today...

Today was spent trying to reclaim all the pieces of my identity - first by retracing my steps - vet clinic, gym, Home Hardware, Super A.....nothing....second by calling CKRW and subjugating myself to the local DJ for the opportunity to get on the air with my sad story. Immediately after it aired I got a call that someone had found it. 'It's at Better Bodies' they said. Whew! Peace and harmony restored, I drove down to pick it up. 'We don't know what you're talking about' they said. We don't have it. What the *&$(*$^%&@%^???

The original caller called me back - apparently it was the wrong pink wallet with flowers on it...my identity....lost forever....I then spent the rest of my day re-ordering credit cards and driver's license, and trying to trick the Equifax automated system into letting me talk to a real person.

Sigh....new departure date - Thursday April 5th...barring oh I don't know, fire or flood or &*($^^$ locusts....

Well, now I feel slightly better - at least I am still clothed and not in a patrol car with mud in my hair....but.....now..... how do you feel?